Struck Gold!

Luke Winslow-King at the Secret Garden, pt 1 from hoovesontheturf on Vimeo.

Originally this post was supposed to be about the artist above, Luke Winslow-King, but I got sidetracked by the sheer awesomeness of where that video came from. Basically, if you haven't given the website Vimeo a glance yet, do so immediately. It's a video hosting website similar to Youtube minus the unceasingly irrational comment sections and plus all sorts of other goodies. First off, Vimeo allows users to upload significantly higher quality videos so you don't have to deal with rampant pixelization and the obnoxious sounds of over digitally compressed audio. What's more, since you can have the ability to upload higher quality videos the website seems to have attracted a somewhat more discerning crop of contributors. There's a lot more of a focus on directors on this site. However, this is both a blessing and a curse as I sincerely doubt that I will be finding the next Dax Flame on Vimeo.

Maybe my favorite thing that I have found so far is the video channel of a music blogger (incidentally you can find her blog here) that calls herself "Hooves on the Turf." She has around 80 videos posted all of which are of really great quality. My particular favorite are her 18 different "Secret Garden" Performances. The performances basically consist of taking really great artists and having them perform outside of typical concert formats. For instance, the most recent one from Brooklyn band Callers took place in a bar before it opened one day.

To get back to my original purpose in this post I want to say a bit more about Luke Winslow-King. I will admit that before even hearing his music I expected to like it because of the instrumentation he uses, specifically the fact that in both of these videos the bass player role in the band is entirely substituted with a tuba. While that does present some interesting problems (in the second video he complains about how his valves are frozen) it is mostly just awesome. Also, I haven't been that excited to see a rubboard in quite a while.

Probably the most immediate comparison here is with Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire stuff, particularly on the pre "The Swimming Hour" albums. The difference though is that where Bird went all out and included tons of other instrumentation and big arrangements, King keeps everything simple and benefits a great deal from it.

He has a new record coming out on April 1st that you can preorder at Foxonahill.com, and as always you can preview some of his music on his Myspace..

Serial Poetry

Since I so enjoyed writing the poem for Five Iron Frenzy I have decided to make "Belated Odes to bands that Shaped My Middle School Experience" a regular feature here on Shoesareoptional. Well, it will be regular as long as I can think of things that rhyme (possibly indefinitely) and bands that I liked in middle school (there were so few).

Today, I would like to raise my internet based glass to MXPX in sonnet form.

Oh MXPX you certainly did rule,

"Life in General" filled me with pop-punk bliss,

"The Ever Passing Moment" was so cool,

And "Let it Happen" was something not to miss.

I thought you were the pinnacle of pop,

No other bands approached your mastery,

And nothing else could ever hope to top,

The joy that came to me from your Cds.

Once when I saw you live at a concert,

You shared the bill with boring other bands,

But you played so well I had to buy a shirt,

I lost the shirt but still count myself your fan.

Even though your recent output has been bad,

I will not soon forget what once we had.

Into the Great Unknown: Doing What the Voices Say

So, according to the infinite repository of facts, the Internet, The Donkeys are possibly Geronimo Jackson of "Lost" fame. Or... Is Geronimo Jackson the Donkeys? Have The Donkeys (Geronimo Jackson?) discovered the secrets to time travel? Who knows? I certainly don't.
Furthermore, why is John Locke, a character named after a 17th century philosopher, swiftly being molded into a 1st century Messianic figure? Why can neither Juliet or Kate decide which primary male figure they love? Where is Claire? All of these questions are eating at my mind like greedy children at a McDonald's buffet. I used to think that the only reason that I continued watching "Lost" was because there were so many questions that I thought would be answered eventually if I watched just one more episode. That continued for five seasons. It's like "Lost" is a girlfriend that constantly insults me but that I keep coming back to because she promises that this time will be different.

While I have to admit, some of my questions have been answered (like who Geronimo Jackson really are) I still mostly have no idea what is going on. By now too, I have essentially lost all hope of having any of my big questions answered. For instance, I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will never know exactly what the stupid smoke monster is.
This leads me to the ultimate question, why do I still watch Lost?
I think it's because I am a masochist. At some level, I like being insulted by my unkind metaphorical girlfriend.
That must be it.
Problem solved.

However, it is a little worrisome that a television show is contributing to my masochistic behavior. I used to think that I was in complete control of my self hatred, now a television show is guiding and contributing to it? That doesn't seem healthy.

So now, I offer a reinterpretation of my continued interest in a television show that never truly satisfies me. Since I long ago lost any faith in the show providing any sort of closure to my constant questions, I only continue watching the show because I want Claire to come back. She was my favorite. Straight up, if she ever got off that island (and I guess if she were in fact real) I would totally ask her out. She has to still be on the rebound after Charlie. Also, Charlie was nowhere near as cool as me.

So I have traversed from the ambiguity of the Geronimo Jackson/ The Donkeys situation to my adoration of the lost "Lost" character Claire (forgive me, it was too good to pass up). Claire, please come back so I can be free from the abusive and insensitive grip of this television show. Also, please do so before John Locke starts turning water into wine because I am not sure how much of that I can take.

Things You Didn't Know About Led Zeppelin

The other day while perusing the stacks of my local used book store I came upon a dark an ominous looking book simply titled "Inscrutable Craftwork." Little did I know that later that day this same book would change my life fundamentally. You see, this book held the secret biography of Led Zeppelin. It was filled with facts and anecdotes that boggled my mind and that I am sure will boggle yours as well. Here are a few that were the most earthshaking:

1. While Robert Plant does cite as influences a number of elder blues singers, in the quietude of his own home he often admitted to his closest friends and family that his true inspiration came from the sound of a crow passing a stone outside his window from his childhood.

2. It is a well known fact that John Bonham played the drums with a great deal of force. However, until now no one really knew how he kept his drums in place while they underwent the maelstrom of blows they had to endure each night. It turns out that when they could find nothing that would work, they contacted a secret department of the United States government called ERS, short for Epoxy Research Services. Apparently they had been developing a super secret and super powerful glue that was meant to glue Communist tanks together making them useless. However, in the name of rock n' roll, they gave some of this glue to John Bonham to glue his drumset in place.

3. Sadly, none of the members of Led Zeppelin could read.

4. John Paul Jones was born with a forked tongue.

5. Once while in the US Jimmy Page ate 14 hamburgers in under 30 minutes.

6. John Bonham did not have three arms, he did however have three nipples.

7. While Led Zeppelin did enjoy parties from time to time, they were actually quite reserved young fellows and typically enjoyed board games and televisions. In fact Jimmy Page is the reigining Parchesi champion in London.

8. Apparently in the stories in past biographies where Led Zeppelin is said to have ordered numerous hookers to their rooms at once the word "hooker" was in fact switched out for the word "waffle."

A Short and Excessively Belated Poem for The Band That Largely Defined My Middle School Existence

A belated ode
To my lips does come
For Five Iron Frenzy
And All they’ve done

They played ska punk
Of the Christian sort
And to my life
They held great import

During seventh grade
And part of eighth
No other band
To me seemed so great

With songs about Canada
And Different Strokes
Not even to mention
Their witty jokes

In every song
They used horn parts
Such sweet melodies
That stirred my heart

But one dark day
The news arrived
That FIF
As a band had died

But with no such drama
As Lynyrd Skynyrd
They said, “God has called us elsewhere”
It twisted my innards

How could a kind God
Be oh so cruel
and take this solace
from my daily gruel

I was aimless for days
Like a ship in a storm
But I soon realized that their last two albums were not very good anyway
And things returned to the norm

Still to this day
Their tunes light up my face
Check them out
Here is their myspace

Quiet Stirrings, Signs of Life

As of late it has been far too nice outside for me to spend my time inside with the horrible little computer. The result of which has of course been a dearth of legitimate posts. For the time being I would like to leave you with a promise of more posts in the very near future and a link to the Myspace page for a group called Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. All you need to know is that there are 12 people in this band, they are not cloyingly twee, and they are positively marvelous.

Go forth and prosper. 

BEST NEW MUSIC

:-)

Down With the Giants

I have the unique privilege of reviewing cds each week for my school's radio station. Usually however, this privilege is more of a burden than anything else as I am typically late to our meetings leaving only the worst of the worst for me to pick to review. However, once in a rare occasion, I come across something that is truly awesome. This week was one of those weeks.
To be honest, I went in to reviewing this album unsure of what to think- the band I reviewed was called Gay Witch Abortion after all. But, they turned out to be completely awesome. I am posting my review here since I am not sure how well received it will be at the station (our format doesn't typically favor metal that heavily) and I really love this band.

Gay Witch Abortion- “Maverick”
Alright, lets get this out of the way immediately, Gay Witch Abortion is a terrible name for a band. It conjures up all sorts of horrifying images and associations that no one wants to think about. However, I challenge you the listener, to move past this (admittedly significant) stopping block and immerse yourself in the awesomeness that is GWA (I will henceforth refer to them by this acronym for the sake of brevity and sanity). GWA is a two piece punk/metal band from Minneapolis that seem to have one goal in life- to rock. All but the last song (which is a ballad) achieve “total heaviosity”- a fact made endlessly more impressive by their relatively simple arrangements. Songs like “Church Buffet” and “Down With Giants” rise above the rest because of their unabashed repetition of unabashedly awesome riffs. Most of the songs on this album are instrumental seemingly because they were good enough to stand on their own- if you can lift three elephants on your own, why would you employ your girly neighbor for any help? (This is of course not to imply that the vocals are at all “girly” on this record, it is simply for the sake of comparison). Please allow me a convoluted set up that will culminate in the best description of this band that I can muster. Imagine for a moment that in order to make music, bands did not need instruments but rather some sort of a structure and something to throw at the ground. Music would spontaneously be created from the combining factors of their height and what they threw. Enya for instance would be throwing feathers off of a 2-foot platform and Nickleback would lob Nirvana records from a three-story building. On the other hand, GWA would hurl massive boulders off of the peak of Mount Everest. Boulders that are so tremendous that they completely obliterate everything below them upon impact (including of course Enya and Nickleback).
RIYL: Torche, Jucifer, Harvey Milk, Things that are heavy like boats and airplanes

Seriously, look them up. Myspace.